the 20th Century brought with it fast food, fast cars and
fast living. Now that we have entered the 21st Century
things are getting even faster. In our jobs we are expected
to get better results faster. We are expected to learn
faster, perform faster and quickly beat the competition.
Well with all this speed and tension comes the inevitable
strain that it puts on the mind and body. Stress is the
result of this strain and tension!
So in this fast paced world that we now live in how can we
learn to eliminate stress?
Well, in order to eliminate stress we should first have a
thorough understanding of what stress is and where it
originates. If you look up the dictionary a typical
definition will explain stress as "a force exerted when one
body presses on, pulls on, pushes against, or tends to
compress or twist another body." When you experience stress
in your life I am sure you will agree that it often feels
as though an external force is pressing against you.
Certain sayings sum this up such as "feeling heavy with
guilt", "feeling the pressure", "it feels like a ton weight
has been lifted off me" etc.
Stress and the pressure we feel behind it can exert, what
feels like, a very real physical force. So where does this
force come from? What is generating this stress? Is it the
events in our lives or just our perception of them and our
reaction to them?
Most stress finds its root in unwanted harassing thoughts
and negative emotions. These thoughts and emotions cause
imbalance within the mind. This eventually causes an
imbalance in the body which will probably lead to illness
or at least a shortened life span!
Do you know that scientific studies have found that the
mind does not know the difference between a real event and
an imagined one? When they hooked-up athletes to
sophisticated monitoring systems they found that the same
neurons in the brain fired when a person imagined an event
as did when they actually did it. Similarly the muscles of
the body responded as though they were actually performing
So when we redefine stress we can give a clearer definition
of it as - a state of heightened emotional and mental
imbalance caused by internal or external forces in one's
life whether real or imagined.
So what external forces can possibly be responsible for
causing the emotional and mental imbalance in one's life?
Well this question may appear to be almost impossible to
answer in one sentence because there can be numerous causes
of stress. These causes range from pressure at work to a
possibly life-altering dramatic event. However, regardless
of the actual event itself when we study the cause of
stress closely enough we always come to the same root
cause. Stress is caused when we wish circumstances,
situations, people or things to be different from the way
Stress always occurs when you want things to be different
from the way they are but they just remain the same. Let's
go back to our dictionary definition - 'a force exerted
when one body presses on, pulls on, pushes against, or
tends to compress or twist another body.' This is exactly
what is happening to you. When you want things to be
different but they just stay the same, you experience
stress because it is as if the situation is pushing against
you. You use your force of 'will', by wanting it to change,
and thus exert force on the situation but it resists and
pushes back. In such situations it is your desire that
becomes compressed or twisted. Basically your stress has
its root in your desire to change things that cannot be
Do not get me wrong, I am a great believer in achieving the
seemingly impossible. I know that by setting goals and
through determination, persistence and a positive mental
attitude we are all capable of achieving great things.
However, some things cannot be changed, for example the
past! It is when we want to change things that are
impossible to change, or when we are not experiencing the
changes we want, we experience stress!
So, if stress lies in the desire to change things then to
remove stress all you need to do is remove the desire. This
does not mean giving-up on your goals. Nor does it mean
never attaining your desires. It means releasing the
grasping, clawing, lusting from the desire. When you do
this not only will you feel less stressful but you will be
in a more receptive productive state to acquire what you
want. It does, however, mean giving up the desire to change
things that cannot be changed!
Fortunately, a way of eliminating such desires was
developed known as 'releasing'. This is a technique which
is highly effective but little known in the western world.
Let's once again return to our refined definition of stress
to see how we can use it to 'release' stress instantly in
any situation. Our refined definition of stress states that
it is "a state of heightened emotional and mental imbalance
caused by internal or external forces in one's life". We
now know that it is you're wanting to change this external
force that is causing the stress so a better definition
would leave out the "external" bit of the sentence. The
definition of stress becomes this - a state of heightened
emotional and mental imbalance caused by internal forces!
So how do we use this knowledge to eliminate it?
Well let's do a little experiment to get you used to this.
Pick a time when you were slightly uptight, agitated or
annoyed. Stop whatever you are doing to complete this quick
exercise. It will only take a moment and once you have the
hang of it you can do it on the spot and with little effort
while you are doing other things. But for now, while you
are learning it, give it your full attention. Once you have
the annoyance in mind ask yourself the following question -
"what do I want to be different in this
about it?" By doing this you are identifying your thoughts
behind the annoyance. After you have identified your wants
behind your annoyance ask yourself the following question -
"how does that make me feel?" By doing this you are
identifying the emotions that are driving the wants behind
the annoyance. Now for that moment stop suppressing the
emotions and allow yourself to fully feel them. Allow them
to come up and be fully expressed in your body. You will
find when you do this the emotions reach a height and then
start to fade away. This is you naturally 'releasing' the
emotion. Once it is gone it is gone for good!
Here is an example of how to use this. You are at work and
your boss wants you to get all your work finished by 5 o'
clock. However, you are well aware that this is an
impossible task yet you feel the mounting pressure to
succeed at the task and try to get it done. You then find
yourself rushing around doing ten things at all at once
while you experience more and more stress caused by your
impending deadline. So, you ask yourself the first
stress-buster question - "what do I want to be different in
comes to mind is something like, "I want my boss to stop
putting me under pressure". You have just identified some
of your thoughts and desires behind the stress.
Next you ask yourself the second stress-buster question -
"how does that make me feel?" You may answer, "I feel
frustrated!" You have now identified one of the emotions
behind your thoughts and desires about the situation. Then
you proceed to the last stress-busting step and for the
moment you stop suppressing that emotion and allow yourself
to fully feel it. You delve into the feeling and allow your
body to experience it fully. You may even imagine it is as
a spent force escaping through your stomach, chest, neck,
face or wherever you are feeling it in your body.
You can use this approach several times, as it only takes a
few seconds to do. Within a few moments you will start to
feel your stress completely fade. Keep asking the questions
as there may be several reasons behind your stress or you
may need to release a particularly deep-seated emotion a
few times before it is gone.
Do not let the simplicity of this technique fool you, it is
highly effective. Try it; you may just be surprised at the
results! If you wish to know more read the full review of
this stress releasing technique by following the link below.
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